I drank a beer before dinner tonight. The taste reminds me of our nights together. Soon enough, I imagine that you are the one sitting next to me, and I let the dream linger a little longer.

I know it’s not the honest effort you want from me, but it will have to do for now. The pull of your memory is too strong still for me to begin giving myself to someone else. Even if that someone else is my rightful owner.

So for now, I survive by playing a farce. And hope that one of these days, the pretense will give way to genuine feeling, and that eventually, some part of me will once again learn to love this man enough to make it work.

Until then, I’ll hide behind every single thing that reminds me of you – and there are too many to count – and I’ll keep imagining that you are the one with me. And the dream will linger until my heart can’t tell the difference anymore.